So it turns out that camper vans and blog posts are in fact mutually exclusive!

We have arrived in Melbourne into our lovely Airbnb and I have logged on to see that the last post I did was at the end of September. So much has happened in the last 3 months that I am not sure where to start. We’ve finished the Californian coast between San Francisco and LA, spent a month in a camper van exploring both islands of New Zealand and just finished with a cheeky 6 week stint in another camper travelling south from Cairns to Sydney where the biggest challenge turned out to be enduring my mother! And there was me thinking it would be the plethora of dangerous animals that seem to lurk around every Australian corner.

Anyway back to California which I am now struggling to remember. Having trundled through various beautiful towns including Carmel (I think I could live there if I had a spare $10m), Cambria, Cayucos (home to the most delicious tacos from the local petrol station) and Montecito (best brunch ever), we hit LA.

Despite living in London, I found the idea of LA a bit scary so we opted to stay only one night and I thought we may as well go to Venice Beach principally because I’d heard of it. FYI it would seem that isn’t always the best reason to pick an area.

We rocked up to our apartment which was basically in a council estate with a locked gate, a shuddering lift and rather dubious characters loitering around. Andy had regained his Yosemite look of horror that had funnily enough been missing when we were staying in the hills above Carmel. Anyway I understood why because I was feeling rather horrified myself. But as the old adage goes…never judge a book by its cover because once inside, it was actually really lovely. A massive bed (theoretically for me and Andy), another double bed in a pull out drawer for Sebby and a big sofa bed for Willow plus a linen cupboard/darkened Josef Fritzl style room with no windows for Emmeline as well as a kitchen, sitting room and bathroom. All of it overlooking sunset on Venice Beach. The owner of the building came to see us because they were about to do some work on the apartment and told us the story of the building which he had bought about 35 years before for $1m when it was a drug infested ghetto. It was recently valued at $40m. Fair play. It didn’t take much to work out what had attracted the stunningly beautiful, Thai mail order bride to her geriatric 5.4ft face for radio husband.

We decided to go to find a playground and have a wander on Venice Beach. It quickly became apparent that the local playground wasn’t frequented by any children fulfilling more of a drug den function. Playground mission aborted much to the anger of the kids so we placated them with promise of a dip in the water and a play on the beach. This was a short lived activity too as I narrowly managed to avoid stepping on a hypodermic needle buried in the sand so back to the apartment we scuttled vowing never to come to LA again. Venice Beach is a pretty seedy neck of the woods. So many homeless people sleeping in tents and on benches by the beach as night falls as well as all the obvious drug activity but I guess that is the reality of life for lots of people and perhaps sadly what constitutes the Hollywood dream for some.

We didn’t fly out until the evening of the following day so we checked out of the place and headed for the antithesis in terms of affluence and cleanliness-Bel Air! We headed for the hills to channel our inner Fresh Prince and wow! What a difference. The views were stunning and the properties were mega. No celebrity spots but some serious curb crawling and sticky beaking of LA real estate. And that concluded our time in America.

My observations of America are as follows:

Super friendly people

Beautiful coastline

Delicious brunches and Mexican food

Weird placement of highways right through the centre of otherwise beautiful towns

No idea why anyone would live in LA

American camper vans lull you into a false sense of security about the size of camper vans in other countries!

And so we left for Auckland hoping for a slightly greener and more wholesome month in our camper van…

So we left Vancouver Island and our lovely NCT friends 3 weeks ago and it seems like such a long time. They showed us what an amazing lifestyle one can achieve with the help of deserted beaches, a kayak and multiple snacks. We are now working our way down the Californian coast stopping in various beautiful places along the way and I thought it best time to update my records and anyone who is interested by what we’ve been up to.

Firstly I need to apologise to the tiny little old lady who happened to go past us at the security gate at Vancouver Island airport just as Emmeline let rip with one of her characteristic high pitched screams for some reason or another. I will always remember her utterance of ‘Mother of God!’ as her left ear drum burst. It sounded so Canadian and just like I imagine Marilla Cutherbert spoke in Anne of Green Gables. Anyway our 17 minute flight to Vancouver was mercifully short and uneventful and we then arrived in San Francisco a few hours later.

I chose an Airbnb in a place called Muir Beach which is about 3 miles from Muir Woods, home of the stunning and absolutely enormous Californian Redwoods. They really are freakishly tall and awe inspiring and we managed to spend about 2 hours walking around on the boardwalks. You have to book your parking in advance (this trip is really testing my forward planning skills) and obviously the only slot available was at 8.30am when I booked it the night before. Not really a problem since the kids haven’t slept past 6.30am since we got here. So we rock up along with quite a few others to spend some time there. The problem with that time is clearly those who are that keen to be there so early have decided to do so on account of the peace and quiet. WRONG. Not so on Monday 9th September folks when the Greens are in Muir Woods town! We scrapped and screached and fought our way around the peace and serenity that is this ancient woodland. There was even a sign that said something along the lines of ‘please observe a low level of noise in order to best enjoy the sounds of nature’ FML! Anyway whatevs, this is the soundtrack to the trip and the trees were beautiful so I’m glad we went.Muir Beach is also stunning and our Airbnb was a little 2 bedroom beach house right on the beach. We could walk or scoot in Sebby’s case along the board walk straight onto the beach which we did loads. The sea was freezing and super windy so we found a little lagoon at the back of the beach that the kids could splash and swim in. The big waves kind of freak me out and luckily Willow saw a sign warning about sharks and Sebby got dumped by a wave so their desire to sink off into the sunset on each beach we get to seems to have been temporarily quashed which is far more relaxing for me.

After poo and bear spray gate, I was hoping for a bit of a reprieve from stressful blog fodder incidents and all was looking well until we went to collect our car from the car park near Pier 33 following a most successful trip to Alcatraz. (Willow got her first National Parks Junior Ranger badge and was sworn in so she was very chuffed).

Anyway, again I booked a super early trip to Alcatraz and so we found ourselves in said car park at 8.15am ready to catch our 9.15am boat to Alcatraz. Suffice to say there weren’t many other cars then so we sailed into an available space tucked nicely away to the side. Kids were getting a little tetchy by the time we got back to the car so we were keen to leave and get going to induce some car nap time. The vehicle gods could obviously smell our desperation so decided it was high time to make sure people had parked either side and in front of us (within their designated bays) but close enough that our large 4 x 4 literally could not come out of the space . It did not matter how much we inched backwards and forwards, slight turn this way and that. Kids going mental, me running from the front to the back of the car, ‘nudging’ the cars in our bid to exit. After about 25 minutes, we admitted defeat and I had to go and tell the car park dude that perhaps we had overestimated our ability to handle an American size car. Literally the nicest man in the world told us to remove all children and he spent 30 minutes going forwards and backwards on tiny little angle differences and finally managed to get the car out. He triumphantly got out of the car and announced smiling ‘there’s no way you’d have been able to do that’. Sir, I could have kissed you and entirely agree with your summary of the situation. The beneficiary of this incident (apart from the amazing parking man who we tipped) was the Fairmont Hotel in downtown San Francisco who have a car park with valet service. The next day we merrily handed over our car keys and trotted off to dim sum safe in the knowledge that for the princely sum of $30 dollars (£25 sob!), extracting ones car from a car park is someone else’s problem! FYI it’s seriously expensive with the crap dollar exchange rate here. We need to get to Asia asap.

So we left San Francisco, the iconic Golden Gate Bridge and the ridiculously steep hills that it should be illegal to push buggies up and headed to Yosemite…

I have so much to say about Yosemite and I feel like I’ll be judged if I don’t mention first of all how utterly stunning it is. It’s also a bloody long drive (for a Brit with three kids to entertain). It really is rugged and enormous and the views are nothing like you’d ever see even in the most beautiful bits of the UK. That being said, it was pretty hardcore to take the three kids camping there for 4 nights in unheated tented cabins. We aren’t really a camping family. As in we have never been camping. My advice would definitely be do 2 nights not 4. That being said, it is an experience I wouldn’t have missed as the kids loved it even though they woke up every morning being able to see their breathe in the tent. My memories (some favourite, some less so) are as follows:

Hiring bikes and cycling through Yosemite Valley with the little kids in a trailer having an alfresco nap and waking up at the Merced River for a picnic and swim

Surviving 4 nights in a tent where the early rising smallest Greens managed to stay reasonably inaudible during quiet hours (10pm-6am)

Andy cracking a smile only after we’d been there over 24 hours. Horrified.com!

Kids grubbing around in the dirt from morning until night

Communal eating in Curry Village dining room and negotiating communal showers with a 3 year old and 1 year old who had never had a shower

Muchos deep fried food and resultant dodgy tummies in communal loo blocks

I also had a fight with a family in the next door tent who thought it was socially acceptable to have their kids play hide and seek under our tent at 9.30pm. Not cool.

But in spite of the above, I can highly recommend camping in Yosemite or one of the other National Parks but I’d defo say do it for 2 nights and maybe pick a slightly warmer time of year unless your kids want to experience sleeping in every single item of clothing they own! On re-reading the above, it sounds like some sort of paediatric endurance test for both kids and adults but it was genuinely fun and I am so pleased we got to experience it. Home schooling lesson for Willow was Bear box management which she took very seriously. Absolutely no food in the tents. I was reprimanded every time I lobbed Cheerios in Emmeline’s direction in a bid to keep her quiet until 6am. No bears were seen but plenty of deer and squirrels.

And so we moved onto Carmel which I’ll write about on another occasion as kids have finished napping and are starting to go feral (again)

PS I have worked out how to put images on the post now via the laptop. Good times!

So for those of you who read the first blog post about the various near death experiences and poo problems, this post will seem a little more mundane as we haven’t experienced any of the above during our 9 days on Vancouver Island. What we have found is the most wonderful place filled with stunning coves, super friendly Canadians, chicken wings and lots of outdoor roaming.

The Vancouver Island part of our trip didn’t start without problems but I’ve begun to realise that seems to be a recurring theme on this little jaunt of ours. Our Airbnb on the island cancelled 8 days before we were due to check in (maybe she had a premonition about poogate) or maybe she just wanted to test my stress levels. Who knows. Anyway I managed to find another one but sadly it was double the price so basically blew our month’s budget out of the water but needs must and the view above is what we paid for so all good. We chose Vancouver Island because a very good NCT friend of mine has just moved here and we wanted to hang out and see where she lived. Suffice to say, she’s fallen on her feet because it’s such a lovely lifestyle. People go to the beach after school with a kayak and the kids roam around while the parents meet up and cook some food. There’s playgrounds at lots of the beaches and because the whole of Victoria is surrounded by water, people just rock up to their local beach so they are really quiet. I could defo imagine living here although food is really expensive and I’m not sure Cake Shop owner is high on their immigration wish list anyway!

We’ve been to Thetis Lake for kayaking and paddle boarding (amazing and kids loved it), Telegraph Cove, Cadboro Bay and Willow’s Beach (kind of them to sort that name for us), Beacon Hill Park and petting zoo for the daily goat stampede, dim sum in China Town and hung out with our lovely friends and their family. So in a nutshell, apart from the cancelling Airbnb and the subsequent doubling of cost of the last minute one oh and the fact that Willow has a black eye from falling out of bed onto something, Vancouver Island has been relaxing, eye opening (although not for Willow because she currently can’t) and costly but all worth it to see great friends and get to know a more outdoorsy way of life for the kids. We are heading to California on Friday for a 3 week drive from San Francisco to LA taking in 4 nights in an unheated tented cabin in Yosemite. Wish us luck!